Independent cinema is shrouded in fog. What does “independent cinema” mean after all? A low-budget movie? Cinema free from masters, be it politics or the lobby of the moment? My point of view is simple: making independent cinema means being true to myself. Giving life to what I feel. Being willing to do anything to give it life. I am lucky that a small production, “The Shadows Factory” allows me to realize my projects. Respecting the atmospheres I see. Trying to involve the faces I see from the moment of writing. I admit it: I need to have control. Control over locations. Control over stage design. Control over costumes. Control over so many things. I try to take care of everything that can represent a saving on expenses. My second film, Katabasis” is a very personal film. Maybe too much. Already in my first film, “Santa Guerra” I had a role as an actress. In “Katabasis” for an infinite number of reasons I had to be the leading actress. This required a great effort. I’ve been tied up in every way for days, I was grabbed by the neck a total of 78 times, I had wax poured on me for two afternoons, I put out a cigarette in the palm of my hand for 4 times, I stayed in a grave for hours, lots of nude scenes, lots of sex scenes… Well… All these things were the least difficult. There was an even stronger emotional component. And after 2 months I was tired, emotionally destroyed. I was so tired that everything that happened off the set seemed like a parallel life to me. And in this parallel life, one day I saw open an heavy window. It was closed. The impact was very strong. Apparently, however, I only had a little bruise. The makeup solved everything. It wasn’t like that. The days after, I couldn’t see clearly. I blamed it on tiredness. I continued. When I was behind the camera, I couldn’t “focus” anymore. I blamed it on tiredness. And then I was becoming intractable. I didn’t trust other people’s focusing. I had come to trust only my mother’s eyesight. And she’s not an operator or a focus puller. Until, on December 7, 2023, I shot the final scene of the film as an actress. I remember that day that I didn’t feel well and that I asked to repeat the scene more than 50 times. In the end, I closed my left eye with one hand. I couldn’t see anything with my right eye. There was an emergency visit to the hospital. My eye was flooded with blood. The doctors were confused.
For ten days, serious illnesses were hypothesized and ruled out. The cause was simpler and was discovered during eye surgery: after a few days, the impact against the glass had created a hole in the retina. Problem solved. In January, other problems began. This time in my left eye. Between January and October, I had at least eight hemorrhages in my left eye. On October 14, I had surgery. I hope this is the end of a nightmare. All this because of a collision that I didn’t give importance to. Or at least, not the importance it deserved. This experience of mine means nothing. I don’t deserve applause because I took a risk the eyes to make a movie. I’m certainly not a hero. I’m just a person who loves cinema. In fact, I love independent cinema. And when I’m involved in a movie, it comes before everything else, even myself. I think it should be this way. And I think it shouldn’t be forgotten this when you want to become a director (in this case also an actress) of an independent movie.
